Dare to compare?

Greetings-

This entry was originally slated to follow up this epic one I've been working on, but as you can see its been taking a while to output it, so here we are. Mainly, I didn't want y'all to think I've forgotten about this little project. For said epic entry, compiling the research has been quite a tall task - one idea leads to another - which in turn requires more research, and I've been conscious of its organization not to lead to far astray. And most importantly, I want to capture the essence of it all. What is this big thesis about you're wondering...well it has to do with the opposing forces that are ever present in our universe - what the Chinese call the "Yin and the Yang." So that's up next.

Now, some of you may recall, I celebrated a birthday not too long ago, a mini milestone, the dreaded 27th birthday. Why so grim? Well, my days as a mere 'twenty-something' are nearing end as I approach what many experience as the "Quarter-life crisis." Not only does this mark the transition from mid 20's to the late 20's, but if you recall, many notable celebrities died prematurely at the age of 27: Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jean-Michel Basquiat, the list goes on. Its known as the "27 Club" or "Forever 27, " which mainly caters to the musicians.
Also there's a list of actors: James Dean at 24, River Phoenix at 23, and so forth. And not to leave out athletes: Steve Prefontaine at 24.
Viewing the material of one's idols can be quite overwhelming. I'd read "This Side of Paradise" and on one hand be blown away by F. Scott Fitzgerald's use of colorful language and touching moments, and on the other my stomach would ache knowing he wrote this at the ripe age of 23. I don't even want to think of any more examples. (see Richard Kelly, Salvador Dali, David Gordon Green, Wes Anderson, Seth Rogen, Kevin Smith, etc.)
And here I sit, with barely more than a few graduate thesis films to my credit on IMDB (check it).

This sort of thing used to keep me awake at night, but alas, I sleep a little more soundly now (with the help of some proper guidance). What I realized is if all you want to do is compare yourselves to others, you'll make yourself sick - literally from the stress - its a vicious cycle that grounds any progress. Besides, not every person whose "made it" was hailed a genius by the age of 19. If you try to repeat what those guys did you won't go too far anyway. They made a name for themselves because they broke out from the crowd and did their own thing - a unique voice that allowed audiences to see life through their eyes. So pave your own way, I say.

Another reason why its futile to compare yourself to what others did - prior to the 21st century is simply - the times are different now. Folks mature at a later age. You know the saying - your 40's is like the old 30's. I believe it. And if you're wondering if this is another 'Blame the media' stance, then you're right. We're bombarded with hundreds (if not thousands) of messages and advertisements a day - pulling us in all different directions. More guys and girls live with their parents well into their late 20's than ever before (thank God I can say I don't). More people go to college and then onto graduate school in this generation than any before it - which as you know delays the whole maturity process. Responsibility seemed so cool when we're 15, but now we know, it sucks.
Stay tuned.


Further reading: (Quarter-life crisis explained)
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/Careers/story?id=688240

(27 Club explained)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/27_Club

Lists: A few of my favorite things

If you're like me, then you like lists. As trivial as it is, I believe you can tell a lot about a person based on what they're into, and perhaps what they're not into. Also I see this as a further introduction to this blog, so without further adieu, I'll present my likes/dislikes:

Note: I'm not gonna bother putting them in numerical order since some of these are like picking my favorite M&M, but don't fret, you'll get the idea.

Ok, I'll just start off with the big ones, then go small:

Top 5 All-Time films
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Donnie Darko
Jules and Jim
All The Real Girls
La Dolce Vita

Other 5
Fight Club
Rushmore
Swingers
Rules of Attraction
American Beauty

Directors
Wes Anderson
David Gordon Green
Federico Fellini
Stanley Kubrick
Ingmar Bergman
Francois Truffaut
Jean-Luc Godard
Richard Linklater
Kevin Smith
Woody Allen

Actors
Bill Murray
Paul Rudd
Jason Schwartzman
Jim Carrey
Gael Garcia Bernal
Humprey Bogart
Marcello Mastrianni
Joseph Cotten
Charlie Chaplin
Buster Keaton

Actresses
Natalie Portman
Naomi Watts
Shannyn Sossamon
Audrey Hepburn
Ingrid Bergman
Ziyi Zhang

Other Girls
Emmanuelle Chriqui
Natalie Wood
Miranda Kerr
Vanessa Lengies
Natalia Verbeke
Rachel Bilson
Mila Kunis
Minka Kelly
Penelope Cruz
Rachel Spector

Characters
Brody - from Mallrats
Ernie "big Ern" McCracken - from Kingpin
Tyler Durden - from Fight Club
Bill Lumbergh - from Office Space
Wooderson - from Dazed and Confused

Other Favorites by Genre:

Comedy
Dazed and Confused
Trading Places
Coming to America
Office Space
Dumb and Dumber
Major League
Kingpin
Ace Ventura
The Big Lebowski
Clerks
Mallrats
Real Genius
Dry Comedy
Kicking and Screaming (1995)
This is Spinal Tap
The Big Lebowski
Waiting for Guffman
Metropolitan
Barcelona
Bottle Rocket
Down By Law
Dark Comedy
Man Bites Dog
The Celebration
Dr. Strangelove
American Psycho
Happiness
Phantom of Liberty
Romantic Comedy
Groundhog Day
When Harry Met Sally
Jump Tomorrow
The Princess Bride
Chasing Amy
Annie Hall
Manhatten
Smiles of a Summer Night
City Lights
Sherlock Jr.
The General

Science Fiction
2001: A Space Odyssey
Alphaville
Stalker
Solaris (1972)
Children of Men

Thriller
No Country For Old Men
The Departed
Knife In the Water
The Conformist
The Third Man
The Big Sleep
Before The Devil Knows You're Dead
North By Northwest

Drama
Casablanca
Great Expectations (both)
Children of Paradise
Rules of the Game
Y Tu Mama Tambien
The Last Picture Show
Vanilla Sky
Sex, Lies, and Videotape
Talk to Her
8 1/2
Wild Strawberries
Shawshank Redemption
Forrest Gump
Amorros Perros
Shortcuts

War
Thin Red Line
Full Metal Jacket
Grand Illusion
Seven Samurai
Spartacus

Horror
The Shining
The Vanishing
Rosemary's Baby
Peeping Tom
Vertigo

Documentaries
American Movie
Burden of Dreams
Grey Gardens
Louisiana Story
Nanook Of the North
Overnight

Movies that are targeted towards Kids
The Goonies
Sandlot
Time Bandits
Stand By Me

TV Shows
Dexter
In Living Color
Arrested Development
Sopranos
The Colbert Report
Married With Children
The Office (American and BBC)
Extras
Reno 911
Fishing With John
The History Channel

Cartoons
Looney Tunes
Beavis and Butthead
Southpark
Family Guy
Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Bands
Radiohead
Better Than Ezra
Modest Mouse
Weezer
Flaming Lips
Others
Sigur Ros
Deathcab For Cutie
Postal Service
Cake
Coldplay

Books
Catcher In The Rye
This Side of Paradise
The Great Gatsby
Crime and Punishment
The Sun Also Rises

General Likes
Quotes
Paradoxes
The Onion
Criterion Collection
Iced Coffee/Tea (sweetened)
Peanut Butter (peanut butter crackers!)
Nostalgia
Steak (beef, its what's for dinner)
Popcorn (Kettle corn and citrus juice)
Ice Cream
Dark Beer (Abita)
Captain Morgan
Jameson Irish Whiskey
Colorful Word Usage
Dogs - most animals
Sunflower Seeds
discovering new music
Puns
Surprises
Sarcasm
Playing the Air Guitar or Drums
Louisiana related (Fleur-di-lis, etc.)
Seafood (hold the shrimp)
The Jazz Age
Coffee Shops
The Color Green (and blue together)
Surrealist Art (Dali, etc.)
Zen
Stereotypes

Other Interests
Human Condition
Photography
Psychology
Astronomy
Paranormal
Travel
Politics
Classic Literature
Dreams/dream sequences
Food - Cooking/Dining out (especially Cajun)
Golf
Health - Running/Working Out
Fishing

Dislikes
Stereotypes
Being lied to
Bullshit artists (that I don't know)
Political Correctness
Censorship
QB's who wear their hat backwards on the sidelines
Cowboys, Yankees, Michigan, Auburn, Florida, USC, Falcons
90% of pop music
unoriginality
dumb nicknames (like "Jay" for Jason)
Yankee accents
Smugness/condescending remarks

Things I just don't understand
the allure of Vegas
Smoking Cigarettes
Girls who sport Playboy gear
Fantasy anything (football, movies, etc.)
Comic Book stuff
Paying for Porn
Paying for Ringtones
Affliction or Tap Out tees
Knitting
Why the water pressure in my shower slowly dissapates
Why NASCAR is so popular
Why trucks outsell cars
Wasting food
Not properly sealing perishable foot items (including chips, crackers - stuff that goes stale)
White Guilt
Tatoos
how if one were less than 50% black, they're still considered black
Soccer
Vegetarians

Guilty Pleasures - Misc.
Ghosthunters
Those Dating shows - (Blind date, Dismissed, Next, etc.)
Dawson's Creek
Sex and the City (I was raised in a family with all guys practically)
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

Movies I saw in the theatre as a young lad that changed my perspective on movies
Strange Days ("Seven" was sold out)
Eyes Wide Shut (first Kubrick film I saw - have seen all of them since)


footnote: I'm sure I'm leaving out a lot, some of it on purpose, but I'll probably be editing this over the next few days.

The Beginning of the End

I'd been thinking about what I should make my first post about, for about a week or two now...then last night, while at Barnes n' Noble (plug), I picked up one of my favorite magazines, Scientific American Mind (another plug), and came across this one article about dying. It was interesting. Then it hit me. What better way to kick off this new endeavor by talking about - what many fear most and what propels us all forward - the idea of mortality. Its what separates us from animals - the knowledge that someday, somehow you will cease to be. And you know how they say "You're never more alive till you're on the brink of death"...
The author of said article presented how it was unfathomable to conceptualize our own death. Main reason being all we've ever known is consciousness, and to try to imagine the lack there of, in ourselves and others was - for all practical purposes - humanly impossible.
When our number is up: No more thoughts of loved ones, or any of the 5 senses, no realization that its all over and that perhaps there is no supreme (benevolent) being, not even darkness. The thing one may possibly associate to being in the same realm as this state was a deep, dreamless sleep, but even that can't compare, he says.
This brought about a dream I had recently and my own ideas or predictions of 'how it all may end.'
Before I get to that, I must say that I love dreams. Anything that deals with them. Not to be mistaken for "goals" (pet peeve of mine). No, the often strange and wonderful vivid imaginations that lie inside each of us - the link between our conscious and unconscious. I'm not afraid to share mine - even to people I don't know well that appear in my dreams. I've done a fair share of research on the subject, as well as I like to think one of my best attributes is being a good listener and offering honest advice. So feel free to share yours with me anytime.
Now for the dream:
I was at my parents' house, looking out the back window. We have 6 acres of land, so a good ways out, in what used to be our horse pasture, was being turned into a cemetery for locals. This came as a surprise to my mother, and I soon found myself out there amongst the graves. We (my mother and I) were slowly navigating the plots in her green 2-door Honda Civic - with her behind the wheel. I had just warned her to be careful, since there were large sinkholes throughout the yard (caused by the digging and groundwater of course)...when we came upon one, plummeting about 50 feet to solid ground. While in the passenger seat, the fall gave me ample time to realize: So this is it. This is how it all ends. How I end.......or was it?
Instant, complete darkness.
About 10 seconds later, I come to. I find myself in a sort of underworld. That has seemingly existed below where I've grown up all these years. Signs of life, but nothing like one would picture heaven, or even hell maybe. With used car lots abound and lower society adrift, I begin searching for answers. The world there seemed to be straight out the film Wristcutter's: A Love Story. Everything and everyone run down and jaded. Purgatory it appeared. I knew my mom was there, but I didn't really see her. She was off doing her own searching. Because like me, she felt in her heart she didn't belong there. An exception. Everyone's an exception to everyone else. The rules don't apply to me. I'm a good person.
That's all I really remember.
Ever since I got my driver's license, at the ripe age of 15, I've had what I would call "brief revelations" of how I'm likely to kick the bucket... A car wreck. Prematurely of course. Before the age of 30. Before my prime. Scary, right? Whether I'm at fault or not isn't important. Just so many close encounters out on the road, one can't help to take notice the probability. And when you keep rolling the dice, its bound to come up snake eyes sooner or later. Granted I don't drive like I used to. But I kept this to myself for a long time. Not that it kept me awake at night, but it always stayed with me - even often while I was driving. Then about 2 and a half years ago I told someone about it for the first time - someone I didn't really know well - but nevertheless felt comfortable confiding into.
*After school special time*
Well, it really felt like a weight was lifted (a small one mind you). We get trapped in our own little worlds and feel like no one can relate or empathize, which you'll find is usually not the case at all when you finally decide to put yourself out there. I'm no longer afraid to mention it. The thought still pops up randomly from time to time, but it no longer feels like a burden. I think when we confront our fears, however we see fit, it helps us, largely, cope with the world around us.
This is not the end.


For further reading: http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=never-say-die

Footnote: I'm not here to spark a debate of religion vs. science - so don't email me bible quotes or the like. Its just something to think about, and if you can't think for yourself, you have no soul anyway.